The story of BeYOUtiful&Rise was inspired by....

Looking back I realize without my past experiences I wouldn't be the woman I am today. I've survived obstacles that were meant to destroy my entire being and take my breath away, but instead only left me with some scars and bruises. Of all the experiences that shaped my life, the day that changed everything was December 5, 2018, that was the day I lost my Daddy to prostate cancer.

Anyone who really knows me knows that other than my babies, my Dad was my whole world and knowing I had to live in a world he no longer existed in, was more painful than anything I'd ever experienced in my life. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't accept it. In fact, I started denying it somewhere in my mind I thought that if I was in denial, it would somehow change the reality of it happening. But it didn't, and hearing my Dad gather up the courage to tell me he knew he was on his death bed didn't make things easier. It did however bring all my fears to the surface. I still didn't believe it though I just knew he would get better, but he didn't and after hearing him tell me a few more times, it dawned on me that my Daddy was trying to prepare me, but I just could not grasp the idea of losing him he was my safe space. Who would luv me unconditionally and not judge me regardless of what we talked about or the mistakes I've made? who would remind me of where my journey began, how far I've come and how much farther I'm going? I wasn't ready to let him go but It wasn't up to me and there was nothing I could do about it.

Have you ever luved someone so much that you absolutely hate them for leaving you? I was in complete denial of his passing even after receiving the call. It didn't fully hit me that he was really gone until the night before the funeral. I had just finished writing my eulogy and reading it to myself, when the final copies of the obituaries arrived. In that moment all the feelings and emotions I was trying to run away from hit me all at once. Instantly I broke down. Days became weeks, weeks turned into months, and before I knew it, the one year date of the day I lost my Daddy had come and gone. The hardest thing for me during this time was trying to comfort my babies through their pain when I was constantly battling with my own. After some time I gathered up the courage to seek professional help at first I was hopeful, but after months of attending sessions I still felt the same, and it felt like no one understood the agonizing pain I felt daily. I was ready to give up until a guest therapist suggested I find a hobby that would help me feel good. At the time I couldn't think of anything but eventually I remembered how much I liked the aroma of soothing candles burning in my home. However, when I went to go buy some, none of them smelled how I was feeling. None of them resonated with the pain I felt so I encouraged myself to make my own.

 I began researching and experimenting with different waxes, wicks, scents and other natural ingredients for candles. The first candle I made was my Anxiety candle because anxiety was the first emotion to greet me during my grief but at the time I didn't know what it was but I felt it. I named my collection "Healing From Within" because every one of my luxury aromatherapy candles resonates with an emotion that I've either overcome during my grief or am still overcoming. Through my own grief I found strength to keep going for myself and for my babies. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I did it and I'm still doing it. Grief in my opinion never ends and the luv you have for the person you lost never goes anywhere. The tears never stop falling. You never stop missing them or wishing you could spend just one more day with them. You cherish the moments shared and the memories created, and no matter how much time has passed, you will never forget them. Although I couldn't spend as much time as I wanted to with my Dad, I am still eternally grateful for the years I had him in my life and I am especially thankful for the moments me and my babies got to share with him before he passed and the tremendous impact he has had on our lives. 

My hope in sharing my story is that it helps everyone, especially woman, who are battling with grief and the never-ending whirlwind of emotions that comes with it. I hope it gives you the strength, hope, luv and encouragement you need to keep going.

SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE WOMAN FIGHTING SILENT BATTLES YOU NEVER SPEAK ABOUT,

I PRAY YOU FIND A OUTLET THAT HELPS YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF AND HEAL FROM THE INSIDE OUT IN THE MOST HEALTHIEST WAYS